“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” -Philippians 4:13 KJV
May 12, 2016 I got this scripture reference tattooed on the side of my arm.
Growing up my dad would have to partake in dialysis treatments 3 times a week. After dialysis he was always very exhausted and worn out. Although his kidney failure didn’t have a direct affect on my body it affected our family as a whole. It took a lot of strength for all of us to get through the feeling of hopelessness as we watched someone we loved so much go through something so hard. He eventually received a new kidney and was able to move forward without any dialysis. God gave us the strength to prevail.
In 2013 I went to the doctor because I noticed my spine didn’t feel straight. The doctors told me that I had scoliosis. We soon found out that it was too late for a brace or anything to help my back straighten out, so if it got worse I was going to need surgery. After a 2 year journey I went in for an operation that would require 2 rods and 18 screws to be permanently placed on my spine. Typically it would take people months to get back to normal. I was released on a Sunday and was at church the following Wednesday. I took my pain medication for one day after being released and made an exceptional recovery. God gave me the strength to prevail.
Those are just two of the big things that God gave me the strength to get through. I then got the tattoo as a reminder that the things are hard for me to face, I never face alone because God has always pulled me through it all.
Now I am entering into a new journey that is one of the hardest. Troy and I were only married for five months before he left. Being separated from someone that you have spent every moment with is hard. I am told all the time “you are so strong”, but if I’m being honest in the beginning I broke down a lot. I have had to do things on my own that Troy always took care of. Troy and I would drive to work together, come home together, eat dinner together, and every morning I would wake up to him. And abruptly doing all those things by myself was a huge hit to my heart. It was suddenly always quiet and I didn’t have his constant listening ear to talk to anymore or the security of the person I love falling asleep next to me. As the weeks went on the adjustment of being alone got easier. I still missed him but the aching feeling in my heart waned and I felt a sense of peace. Nothing changed, he was still gone, but I got stronger. We still have about 4 more months of long distance, and possible deployments to come but my heart is no longer afraid, because God will give me the strength to prevail.
Now that I have the tattoo it is a constant reminder to myself that he always has, and always will, give me the strength to pull through the times that I’m struggling to pick myself up and keep going.